Thursday, November 21, 2013

Finding a Lost Part of My Self

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been working on deep subconscious healing.   Today I did a meditation  where I visualized myself climbing down a winding stairway.  The stairs were white polished marble and the railing was light and shiny.  I met my intuitive guidance along the way as I was going down the stairs.  She was slightly in front of me, holding a candle, and motioning for me to continue down.  As I continued down the stairs, they started darkening in appearance. The rails and the marble became darker the deeper we descended.   I couldn't see my intuitive guidance very well until we reached the bottom of the stairs.  My intuitive guidance presented as a woman dressed all in white, but what was unusual was that her face was completely covered with white mesh or gauze, so I couldn't see her features.

As we reached the bottom of the stairs, she presented three doors to me and I selected the far right door.  She opened the door and I entered.  The space was dark and quiet.  My intuitive guidance closed the door.  Feelings started flooding me and I was seeing the words "scared", "sad" and "alone" flashing before me.  I used my inner light to scan the space and saw a young girl about the age of 8 or 9 sitting on the floor, head down and knees pulled to her chest.  She had dark hair and eyes and looked very sad and disheveled.  I reached down to touch her and she startled.  I put my arms around her and I experienced intense pain and sadness which expressed through me as sobbing, wailing and shaking.  I realized that this little girl was a part of my Self, my very own essence that I had lost long ago.  She was holding some of my deep pain that I was holding outside of my love and light.  I held her tightly as the pain that she, this part of me, was holding continued to express through me until it had completely expressed.  When the pain was done expressing,  I told her how much I loved her and that now she was safe.  I opened the door and walked out holding the little girl.  We walked up the steps and as we were reaching the top, a bright, warm and loving light greeted us.  I am now one step closer to being whole.